Guitar Again

One of my big weaknesses is sticking at something just long enough to get a single goal completed. This means my proficiency fades away because I stop practicing. What I aim to do is stick at guitar for 5 years to get some practical skill ingrained. In only a week I’ve relearned 80% of Bach Sonata 1 for violin (on guitar) and feel that some important basics (alternate picking, for example) I have practiced enough to be ingrained.

Add to this is when I start something I almost obsess over “products” that align. So starting guitar again I look at guitars almost obsessively. It’s an eye-opener about myself that is a bit hurtful yet leads to something better.

Sent from a device without a real keyboard. Expect typos.

Guitar Again

Letting Go

Some time ago I did some counselling to resolve an emotional issue I was having. In it I learned to let go of parts of my personality, or even just schemas of thought, that were no longer helping me live in a happy way. It worked like a meditation.

Thank you for your service
You are now released and free to go
Thank you again, and goodbye.

Today I did this, somewhat by accident, to the need for being correct. For a few seconds I felt terror. And then a growing sense of happiness. Why? It freed me from the fear of being wrong.

Letting Go

Lighting the Fire in the Belly

Writing Fiction, “Origins: Krovosos”

It’s been a while since I posted here but NaNoWriMo has helped ignite some motivation in me, again. Working on a Roadside Picnic/S.T.A.L.K.E.R themed store called “Origins: Krovosos” that I’m desperately trying to finish in time for the Christmas season of purchasing. It’s pushing a little over halfway done and looks to be aiming at a 260pg length novel. Lots of action and a spattering of tech as Luka and Sasha, veteran Stalkers, return to the Zone and its perils.

Black Dawn

Black Dawn: the RPG. A good friend is playing Fragged Empire, itself also in development (albeit with a very nice budget and artwork) and that’s made me realise that I should resurrect Black Dawn and update it for the modern markets. That is, simplify it. This is done to about 2/3rds and probably needs only another 100hours work to layout and get ready for sale.

CADs

Cloaks Alleys Daggers (maybe Cloak And Dagger?) is a working title for a game of medieval fantasy mundane criminals who rely on skill and gear to achieve their goals. It will use a new system called METAL (just a working title). Characters have four Metals, Iron, Brass, Steel and Mercury to represent their traits. Iron, physical toughness, Brass; courage and persistence, Quicksilver; balance, speed, co-ordination, Steel; smarts, fast-thinking, knowledge. To these metals you add polishes (skills) that are more broad than most games.

The core-mechanic is 3d6 + Metal + Polish. It can be either a passive test, vs a TN, or an opposed test; vs another roll. Results are based on success margins or failure margins – much in common with Simple 2d6. What I like about it so far is the language. It sets up a good vibe and flavor that this is about being thieves, thugs and cads. Not arcane jongleur half-demon sorceror rogues. I like cheese but mostly with my wine…

Vegan

Well not any more (the cheese with wine that is). I’ve started eating vegan for health reasons. Check this video out to have your mind blown.

Lighting the Fire in the Belly

Just a Man

I’m not a great man.
Just a man.
Of flaws and shortcomings.
With little wisdom.
Or wit in any measure.
I’m just a man.
Working with a set.
Of limited tools.
And a sliver of an idea.
How to use them.
I’m not a great man.
Just a man.
Limping through the trenches.
Of a violent world.
Attempting to cope.
With the damages of youth.
The conditioning of culture.
Paying protection money.
To the hand on the sword.
That pretends to be my friend.
I’m not a great man.
Just a man.
With barely working eyes.
A mind muddled and fried.
Addled and punch drunk.
From the jabs and hooks.
Fired from my fellow slaves.
On the free range tax farm.
I try to learn.
From greater men than I.
Men that have used their tools.
With less limited skill.
To build them into better men.
Whose voices show.
The fences of the farm.
I’m just a man.
Yearning for great freedom.
Trembling under the weight.
Of his own damages.

Just a Man